The life of a degenerate

I guess only extreme emotions prompt me to any action whatsoever. The last time i posted i was 'extreme'ly happy n blissful abt dont-know-what and had to record those feelings somewhere and this time around too, i feel 'extreme'ly despondent and very much down in the dumps. Hence the blog!!
This feeling of being degenerate is nothing new to me. This, i believe, is the cumulative effect of say, a few months. Over the last 3 1/2 months, i have done pratically nothing, except the very necessary life processes. I have carefuly evaded all activity which may in the slightest lead to any stimulation of my brain. I have been a passive onlooker in all activities. I dont know how things have suddenly come to this head. I have always thought that though it is true that i am not interested in most of the things in my life(like my academics) , i have got accustomed to slugging it out somehow to make the grade. I thought i was somehow fortunate that though i wasnt interested in them, i was passable in a majority of things. All that was until last sem. Come final sem, i am all at sea. I am actually unable now to work on things that are not interesting to me. All around me, i see people working on their projects(passionate or otherwise), while i listlessly while away my time doing god-knows-what. Come to think of it, i am actually surprised at myself. How do i spend 24 HOURS in a day?? I wake up at around 7:30 in the morning( wouldnt like to miss my breakfast at 8:00 , u see?) and i am quickly bored and unhappy with life by 10:00. The rest of the day just drags on and on until i sleep again at 12:00 in the night. Life for me is all about the meals- breakfast, lunch, tea, dinner and of course, sleep and all in between, its a complete void. This is not to say that i am an obese food freak but to say that i keep track of the passing time only by these mealtimes. Rest of the time, i shuttle between rooms and the lab looking for any kind of conversation, whether real or the virtual one on orkut or meebo.I spend time managing to log on and off meebo n orkut 8-10 times a day on the average. I dont read anything, leaving alone the ogling at the girls in Ahmedabad Times and all the gossip the tabloid sites can dish out. I also dont believe in any kind of undue strain on the body, so physical activity ruled out. I believe it is all this inactivity that is getting to me. .And now, i dont know how to pull myself out of this rut. I am almost filled with self-pity at this point, a very base emotion in my view.

Morning Sweetness!!!

Got up today at 7:00 in the morning. Went for a jog in the field. Had a bath too. Now, i 'm bursting with energy to do something.
Also, it is such a wonderful day. Seems, it had rained early in the morning so the ground was faintly wet with the smeel of the earth in the air. The day iself seems very lazy on such days. Quite suits my personality. Brings back memories of such not exactly rainy, but always theatening to and very cloudy days during my school days. It was wonderful lying by the bedroom window and peeking in to the curtains of drizzle. I could go on watching for ever like that. The feeling was sublime to say the least! I believe it is this heady combo of an early morning and the overcast skies that are causing this 'butterfly effect' in my stomach. Am feeling very excited though apparently there is nothing to be excited about.
Going off at a tangent, i am really curious , why doe we feel so gooood when we wake up early in the morning. Is there some real hardwiring done such that we humans are to feel hale n healthy when we are up early or is it just the constant nagging and the adages"Early to bed and early to raise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise( the last two being very questionable)" that make us feel good about ourselves???
Having said that i'm all agog, i also have to say that intermittently i also have periods of profound mental peace, wherein i am all at peace with the world. I have no worries( except for the omnipresent BTP) and feel very contented. All mundane strife and tribulations seem 'mundaner' and the feeling that one needs to grow above all these growing strong.

Finally joined the bandwagon!!!

Too-weary-to-care is why i never do a lot of things in life., which is also why i never had a blog in the first place. But then, it suddenly struck me that i could say a lot of things here which would have otherwise needed a 'liberal dose of spirits' to pour forth. Also, i saw this terrific movie about which i was going on ranting n raving and my friends wouldnt listen to(to be honest dozin off as it was 4:00am), i thought a blog would be the best place to capture the immedaite thoughts, though i must say the fire's long dead now and the attitude i have aforesaid having set in, i am creeping back into the cozy covers of my bed.
gud nite and gud bye to that sudden, unreal spurt of enthusiasm.